In my past couple of posts I have spoken about difficulties that arise as we experience spiritual growth; particularly, when we have some kind of mountain top experience. So, how do we get through those tough times. Here are some tips that have worked for me and many others.
1. Recognize that what you are experiencing is normal. Your sense of “What is wrong with me?” is just a symptom of experiencing change and growth. Nothing is wrong with you. You are just internalizing change and that is a tough confusing process. Recognizing that it is normal and unavoidable can help relieve some of your sense of being alone or abnormal.
2. Support. When you grow it will affect your relationships. You may find yourself withdrawing if people don’t understand you. Be sure to stay connected with several close friends or family members. Pick ones who will love you even if you make stupid choices. Be a part of a group that has had your experience. Connect with other people on-line or in person who share your interests as you grow.
You need two types of support. First, someone to verbally dump on. A person who will listen without feeling the need to hand you heaps of advice. This helps you get clarity and keeps you from becoming isolated. Second, people who pray for you daily. You can’t have too many people praying for you. You will feel their support even if they never say anything.
3. Maintain your health. Eating, sleeping and staying active can get compromised quickly when we are going through a time of confusion. Attention to your baseline health will help you have the energy you need to process big change.
4. Maintain Commitments. A time of spiritual transition is a time of instability. It is not a good time to make sweeping changes to your life. If you do make major decisions, do so with great care and the counsel of people you trust. I will qualify this tidbit of advice in that sometimes because of spiritual growth you may a identify a major change that God is calling you to make. If that is the case, then you need to be obedient. Make the change but be very careful and very intentional.
5. Journal. Writing about what you are going through will bring you clarity and help you assimilate growth more rapidly.
6. Find time for solitude. Don’t keep piling on more learning or experience if you are overwhelmed. You really need time and space to just be. Step back and allow some of what you have gone through an opportunity to sink in. Take long walks. Come up for air. Go play. Sit outdoors watching and listening. Take long hot baths. Whatever you can do to step a part without becoming withdrawn to the place of dangerously isolated.
7. Enjoy it! Yeah, you heard me right–enjoy it. Outward Bound has a saying, “What you can’t get out of of, get into.” The turmoil of deep change is uncomfortable at best, debilitating at worse. However, if you accept these struggles as part of your learning journey, then you will come to value your struggle as growth.
8. Pray. Cling to God. Ask for clarity. Sit and listen. Consider Peters words in 1 Peter 5:10, “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.”
You are in God’s hands. Relax and give yourself some grace. Over time you will assimilate the things you have learned and experienced. Being confused and lonely will pass. In it’s place peace and service will arise. Blessings to you from The Practical Disciple
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The question that is rolling around in my head is: Does change lead to spiritual growth or does spiritual growth lead to change. My greatest spiritual growth has been the last few years when I have had such struggles that I thought I wouldn’t make it. It was during this time that God showed me he is traveling this time with me. I have grown so much. While I am in better times, I came to this point with some coping techniques that are not in my best interest. I need to leave them and so more of what you suggest but….addiction to things that have gotten you through hard times is difficult to give up.