16 Sep 2009

Oh brother, WHO art thou?

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“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope, to Timothy my loyal child in the faith: grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So begins the first letter of Paul to Timothy.  The words “my loyal child in the faith” leap out at me.  Paul had adopted Timothy spiritually.  He had taken upon himself a commitment to Timothy as if he were Paul’s own child.  He felt a commitment to pray for him, instruct him and hold him accountable.  How many Timothy’s do you have in your life?  I am asking myself the same question.

Many churches are trying to create disciples via curriculum and program.  We are looking for an automated magic formula of education that will transform people into whole-hearted committed disciples.  Most the programs though lack discipling.  They lack a component of people adopting people as either their children in Christ or brothers and sisters in Christ.  Whom have you adopted?

You may feel inadequate to that task and that is okay.  Adoption is more about love than expertise.  Many years ago, when I was in early college I was passionately involved in youth ministry.  I had a simple mission statement for myself.  “I will love these kids, so that someday they will realize God loves them.”  We did all sorts of programs: dinner clubs, lock-ins, retreats, Bible studies, etc.  I used to tell people that youth ministry never happened in the program.  The program was just an excuse to get together.  The real youth ministry happened in the 15 minutes before and after youth ministry while we waited for parents or ate meals.  That’s when I loved them.  That’s when I asked them about what was going on with school.  That’s when they raised some tough question of faith that they were reluctant to voice in front of everyone else.  That’s when I affirmed and encouraged them.  Real ministry often happened when I gave them a ride home from taking them roller skating and they were the last one to be dropped off and we had a few minutes to ourselves to laugh, cry or whatever was needed.

This past week I saw one of those “kids” for the first time in almost 20 years.  She isn’t a kid anymore.  She is a full grown mature godly woman with a great family.  As I meet and get to know her husband and her children I feel my family circle expanding.  I can’t think of her anymore as a daughter, but more a sister and that makes her kid’s my niece and nephews.  In some way she is part of my spiritual lineage.  I doubt she remembers too many lesson plans, but we both remember vividly car rides and meals shared.  We both remember vividly stopping at McDonald’s and playing on the play ground that we were way to big for.  She still has in a box somewhere a little paper frog I folded from a McDonald’s placemat.  I still have treasures she made for me as well.  Somewhere in those moments and little treasures. she got the message that I loved her and that God loved her.  It wasn’t the only place she got that, but I like to think that it was one of the critical places.

That’s how spiritual adoption works.  It isn’t some big fancy program.  It’s time spent and invested in people.  It’s time laughing and celebrating when life is good.  It’s long phone calls and warm hugs when life stinks.  It’s gabbing openly about what God’s doing in your life.  It’s challenging someone when they are being stupid, but loving them anyways.  It’s asking, “How are you?” when they have the big break up.  It’s calling on a birthday.  It’s listening when they blow it and get grounded by their parents.  It’s staying up really late and talking about everything and nothing all at the same time.  Adoption is loving someone so that they understand God loves them too.

Lastly, adoption isn’t something you put on your calendar with start and stop dates.  When you adopt, you are in it for life.  Your spiritual children will grow up and change, but you will always be committed to them.  You may have phases where you wander apart.  That is part of what kid’s do.  Nevertheless, the commitment of heart is still there.  My “kid” who is now my friend can count on me to be there.  As her children grow, if a time comes when they are in need and I can help, then I’ll be there.  Who knows, may be someday I’ll even get to take them roller skating like their mom.

Can you see that adoption isn’t a five point program that lasts for six months?  It’s a life long commitment to someone’s spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well being.  Adoption isn’t thinking of someone as a fellow member at your church, but as a member of your family.  So, who are your “kids” right now?  They don’t necessarily have to be children.  You can adopt someone as a brother or sister.  If you are not sure, then whom do you think God is calling you to love right now in a way that they will someday understand God loves them?

Blessings to you my extended virtual family of faith.

2 Responses

  1. beth

    hey! i’m one of your old kids too! 🙂 My first Bible came from you! I still have it. I remember going on a retreat (I SOOOO wish I could remember where to) and you sharing stuff with Sara and I. We felt soooo special. 🙂 Thanks for doing your part.

    Looking back now, I wonder if it was known that Sara and I weren’t “churched” and we may have been a special project? (That’s how it works where I go to church now.) Or maybe God orchestrated it all; anyways, I was raised by atheists and taught to believe that only weak people needed God. My poor father is still lost. But God kept reaching out to me and sending people like you into my life. It wasn’t all you, but many people. And that’s encouraging I think because if you look at it like it’s entirely your responsibility, then that may be too big a task to even tackle for some, but if you realize God has a whole army of “angels” he sends then it’s easier to be apart of his team and do your part. 🙂

    I’m very glad to have found you again after so many years!

  2. admin

    Hey Beth, I’m really glad to have found you again as well. I most definitely had a special concern for you that I couldn’t really put words to. You just seemed to be in a place where you really needed to be surrounded with God’s love. I prayed a lot for you. In fact, long after I lost track of you, I prayed for you. I think the Bible I gave you was the very first Bible I gave to someone. I can’t recall for sure. Craig Maxwell and I gave each other our confirmation Bibles, but I think that was later. Did I date it by chance? If so, I would love to know when it was. Sometime when I am visiting my parents, we should reconnect face to face. I would love to see you and that old Bible.

    I think God did orchestrate all of that. I knew you didn’t have a church family. I am not sure I knew much more than that. There was no program, strategy, project, or plan that I was following. In fact, may be this is the perfect underscore for what I wrote in my post. I jut felt led to care for you, so I did.

    Also, I really like what you had to say about there being many people. During college I had a lot of friends who were really aggressive around one-on-one evangelism. They were frequently caught up in tallying “wins” and “losses” for Christ. I remember thinking that all the conversations where like links in a chain that eventually created a connection between a person and God. I felt like there was a tremendous desire for people wanting to be “the” link or the last link in the chain. I remember coming to a place of wanting to just listen, trust and be faithful to things like buying a Bible for a kid who seemed to need it, or talking to some girls on a retreat about whatever they need to talk about, and trusting God for whatever fruit those actions might bear. May be I am just rationalizing why I wasn’t more aggressive, but I don’t think so. I have no doubt that my friends were living faithfully into their calling, but it wasn’t mine. I think my call was and continues to be focused not on getting decisions for Christ, but helping disciples grow.

    Once again, I am so thankful for your comment. It fills me with a humble awe for what God does. I was a 20 something year old kid myself with a heart for God, a heart for kids and a hope to get them together. More and more I am beginning to believe that sometimes we should keep it just that simple. A few things have changed. Now I am a 40 something year old kid. God’s blessed me with more life tools to share and that’s awesome. Truth be told though I am not sure that ministry gets any better than just sharing the kind of moments we shared.

    I am grateful for you, grateful for the journey and highly recommend adopting a few of your own “special” kids.

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